Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
