i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
