therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
