i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
