i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
