i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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