Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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