Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
