I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
