Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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