Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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