two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
