well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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