I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
