An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
