I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
