I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
