he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
