Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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