I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
