Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
