I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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