I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
