Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
