How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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