Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
