Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
