Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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