I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
