I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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