sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
