So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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