You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize