quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
