That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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