I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
