Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
