According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
