my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
