have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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