He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
