when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
