when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This is the high leading the old right now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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