I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
