I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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