i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it glows. i had to have it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
