you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
