Will you blow on my dice?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
