That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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