you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have already put on my inside pants.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
