we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
