So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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